The title track to my life.
I've spent the last 10 years yearning for a child. I thought: when the time is right I will get pregnant. I'll be so utterly happy, that giving up smoking and drinking and basically MY WHOLE LIFE would be easy.
Like fuck its easy. Its TURD.
At age 31, I have spent the last 15 years of my life on the piss. My world revolved around booze and pubs. This has now been cruelly ripped away from me, leaving a huge gaping hole (huge gaping hole? Not a great choice of words there I admit).
YES I KNOW it will "all be worth it" and I KNOW "its for a good cause" but honestly, if I hear one more person say that I am going to start getting stabby.
And in place of my good-time-laugh-a-minute life, I have been left with…hmmm…where do I start?
EXHAUSTION
SICKNESS
PISSY KNICKERS
ACHING BACK
CANKLES
MURDEROUS MOOD SWINGS
WORRY
LONELINESS
The first things going into my hospital bag are: Pack of Golden Virginia and a bottle of my old friend Jack Daniels. I intend to fail abysmally at breast feeding so as I can JUST FEEL LIKE ME AGAIN.
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